This afternoon, let me
Be a sad person. Am I not
Permitted (like other men)
To be sick of myself?
Am I not allowed to be hollow,
Or fall in the hole
Or break my bones (within me)
In the trap set by my own
Lie to myself? O my friend,
I too must sin and sin.
I too must hurt other people and
(Since I am no exception)
I must be hated by them.
Do not forbid me, therefore,
To taste the same bitter poison,
And drink the gall that love
(Love most of all) so easily becomes.
Do not forbid me (once again) to be
Angry, bitter, disillusioned,
Wishing I could die.
While life and death
Are killing one another in my flesh
Leave me in peace. I can enjoy,
Even as other men, this agony.
Only (whoever you may be)
Pray for my soul. Speak my name
To Him, for in my bitterness
I hardly speak to Him: and He
While He is busy killing me
Refuses to listen.
Thomas Merton
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